Monday, January 16, 2017

Indoctrination 2: Information Overload

 What gets me about my deconversion is about how ignorant I was as a fundamentalist believer. There are just so many aspects to science, history, technology, and even philosophy that have to be reinterpreted or ignored. As a child going to Christian school, I could not have experienced this more. Not only am I sheltered from peers in the "world" but I am also getting all kinds of information wrong.  Some of the most basic aspects of science and how it works was demonized. Evolution when it is mentioned was of course of the devil and the reason for the holocaust. Talk about a priori conclusion, well that is religious fundamentalism in a nutshell. They start with a conclusion and cleverly show you why it must be this way.

The application of science is huge, I was never taught to be curious, in fact  it was discouraged. In fact the old adage of "curiosity killed the cat" was an subtle but driving force in my circles. In what many would consider a hallmark of scientific exploration, curiosity was never championed unless it served to benefit the overaching fable. This curiosity I had to cultivate on my own, but seeing how was drawn to the religious, I became curious of theological issues. I would spend my study hall periods studying the dispensations or the covenants. I would read books on why UFO's are demons trying to trick us, or read books about KJV onlyism. I was curious indeed, but more like a dog barking up the wrong tree. 

Not only was curiosity subtly frowned upon, but wonder was curbed as well. The awe and wonder I now feel about exploding novas, super massive black holes, the evolution of venom, or whatever was always hijacked by - look at what God created. "Our God is an Awesome God" was played ad nauseam. Somehow the awe inspiring God worshiping wonder of flesh eating bacteria, the impeccability of some viral diseases, and the effectiveness of childhood cancer did not spur us to worship in chapel. In high school biology class, it was almost as if the course was meant as a mechanism to indoctrinate from a "Christian worldview" so the impressive evidence supporting evolution was completely distorted and instead we were told how amazing these creatures were in light of Genesis 1. Today, as I sit in my heathen atheism, I am enthralled beyond expression at how so much information flies in the face of religion. The lines of evidence that demonstrates certain facts are so compelling, I find god and Jesus to be boring. Intellectually vapid. Its like trying to breakdown an Aesop Fable. And honestly that might be more interesting. 

The wonder of learning new things, challenging preconceived ideas, smashing ill formed opinions, and realizing that there is so much I do not know. When Christianity is taught to children or to adults, it is proposed as a theory of everything. Sure we can learn more about how rabbits hop, how trees grow, and how even fossils form. But it is all directed in a way that first upholds the Christian worldview. So there is no discussion in the evolution of a rabbit hop, or examination of trees older than four thousand years, and of course fossils are put there by cataclysmic events like the Flood. So information is steered and controlled. And little impressionable minds are manipulated and controlled from the ground up. 

Today, I am kind of on an information overload, a little over three years, after I gave up my faith. I sit on my couch wishing I had more time. More time to read and explore, to visit museums. But life and its responsibilities prevent me from getting to deep. If only I was a child or a teenager. Or even in my twenties and had a much sharper mind. If only I did not feel so robbed from my youthfulness. Seriously though, It pains me inside, to realize how much my information was controlled by a propped up, fucked up, worldview that has the intellectual acumen of a Cheeto. There I said it, feels pretty nice. 

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